Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The plumber is here!
The plumber is here! The plumber is here! Cross everything you've got! Here's hoping for hot water, hot food, and warm dry clothes! Oh, and a little easier than thought on the checkbook would be great too!
Day Four: Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party
We donned our Hawaiian shirts, put Hoot in his Stitch belly shirt and headed off to the Magic Kingdom early for our date at Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party (MNSSHP). Like silly theme park lemmings, when we got off the monorail, we proceeded to the nearest turnstiles for admission. Our tickets didn't work, and after a moments panic, a lovely Cast Member pointed to a large sign that pointed to the other side to use party tickets. We picked up our trick or treat bags and park maps and stopped for the obligatory potty break before heading down Main Street.
We found a Photopass photographer, and had a series of shots taken in front of the castle. Sadly, Tee's lei had already started to come unraveled, but we made her keep it for the photos. I liked this one after we added the real Stitch to our shot.
As we were headed to Tomorrowland for our first date with Buzz Lightyear and Evil Emporer Zurg, we saw another Photopass photographer set off to the side of the castle and stopped for another round. I love the "shy Hoot" photo the most.
Once we were done, it was off to ride Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin. This is my favorite ride in the Magic Kingdom, so I'm awfully glad that Hoot has made it his favorite as well! We rode twice and had a blast. Then, we took the gamble, which paid off, to give Hoot his first experience with Stitch's Great Escape. We also posed for a picture with Pleakley and I got my favorite picture of Tee during the entire trip. I didn't realize how much our shirts' motif matches his here. I also didn't realize that Tee and Pleakley were the same height!
We had a quick bite to eat at Cosmic Ray's and some trick or treating in Tomorrowland, we headed off to Fantasyland. 
The boys took a spin on the Tea Cups, then we began to work our way systematically through all the attractions there. As we were getting into the queu line for Winnie the Pooh, Tee turned to me and said, "I wonder if we'll get to see Snow White out with all her boys this year?" And, wouldn't you know it, here they came! All seven of them, mostly in step and marching right behind Snow White herself. Their own little parade! We didn't get a good picture, but it was one of the big highlights for us. You never see them out like this, and we only saw them do it last year at the big soggy MNSSHP after the rain began to clear out.
When we got to Cinderella's Carousel, the horse between mine and Hoot's was very low to the ground and we were able to coax Tee into getting on board instead of sitting in the old people chairs. It was a blast, with all the horses racing neck and neck! Just as we were beginning to slow down, I jokingly told Tee she had better pray that her horse ended up low to the ground. Like a well timed curse, her horse ended up as high as it would go! I just laughed and laughed. DH tried to get her to let him help her down, but seriously, this horse was high! We told him we'd just take another spin around, but he didn't believe us and the boys got off! I couldn't believe it! He didn't let Hoot ride the carousel again! What a big meanie!
However, on that second, girls only ride, I learned a little Tee trivia. It seems that once, when she was about 7 or 8 years old, at Six Flags Over Texas, the ride operators had to stop the carousel and make her get off! Why, you may ask? Because she was standing on the saddle, holding on to the pole with one hand, and throwing kisses with the other! (Have I ever mentioned that she wanted to be Calamity Jane when we were kids?) I howled with laughter at this little tidbit! Sadly, or luckily, either way, our horses landed low to the ground after our second ride, and it was off to the second half of Fantasyland for us.
Now, I have seen more than my share of fireworks over the years. I grew up with Tee working for Six Flags. I worked at Astroworld and Stone Mountain Park. I've been to Disney World ten times. I can honestly say I have never, ever seen a show quite like this one. I was dazzled.
We started out sitting, but the fireworks were also coming in from behind us. I snatched Hoot up and darted to the middle of Fantasyland, out to the side of Dumbo and the carousel. The entire show was happening right around us, and even right above us! I wouldn't have been surprised if my neck had hurt the next morning! It was truly amazing. When the finale was blasting right overhead, it was so bright Fantasyland was honestly lit up like broad daylight. Talk about some serious fireworks! I think this was my favorite part of the whole trip. Hoot and I totally immersed in fireworks!
Up Next: Day Four: MNSSHP, a giant black horse, and a smoking crocodile!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hoot's Birthday Party
After sleeping in until about 8 am (hey, by our Disney standards, this is really sleeping in...) we got up and started getting ready for the trip out to Plant City to see my Granny. DH is surly. Hoot is grumpy. And there is "no white yogurt" to be had, only berry yogurt with the "wrong colors." Surprisingly, we managed to hit the road west right on schedule.
We pick up the cake that Tee ordered from Publix, toodle downtown, and snag a sweet parking spot right outside Granny's assisted living apartment building. Score. Hoot refuses to participate in hugging and kissing. He has met Granny before, but he was only 16 months old at the time. But, Granny's got his number. She had four boys of her own, and a big bunch of brothers. Really, she's not going to be phased.
We took Granny out for lunch to a place she likes called Buddy Freddys. We knew DH would love because he would be able to get good fried chicken. Hoot, well, we just crossed our fingers and hoped that he wouldn't go ape ****. After all, it's not like Granny wouldn't be watching. (Insert all kinds of family issues such as judgement and fear of failure.) Since it was early, the place was pretty empty, but the food was loaded on the buffet tables. After we order sweet tea all around, we load Hoot down a plate with a fried chicken leg, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. You know, full tilt kid food. My mantra the entire time, "please be good, please be good, please be good..." I fix my own plate and have to uncross my fingers to make sure I don't drop anything on my way back to the table.
OK, I don't really know what happened there. Maybe it was skipping breakfast. Maybe it was getting a day of Disney under his belt. Maybe it was divine intervention. Hoot was so nice and pleasant throughout the entire meal. I was stunned, but attempted to act like this was just how he always is in restaurants. Home made fried chicken, rutabaga, sweet tea, and angel child! I was on cloud 9. As the rest of us were finishing lunch, Mr. Surly even took Hoot out to rock on the front porch!
Back at Granny's we commenced with cake and presents. There wasn't a lot to open, but Hoot didn't seem to care.
Oh, how did there ever get to be FOUR candles on his birthday cake?
Taking these candles off was a very serious job, indeed!
Hoot sat in Granny's lap to open his presents.
I even got a fairly good picture of the two of us at her house. 
Hoot loved crawling on Granny's walker. Anything with wheels....
Sadly, there was a madman, aka Mr. Surly, aka DH in the background of this one. I cropped the copy I'll send to Granny! 
We may have been taking a girls only picture, but Hoot was up to something. Granny's really keeping her eyes peeled, though.
We pick up the cake that Tee ordered from Publix, toodle downtown, and snag a sweet parking spot right outside Granny's assisted living apartment building. Score. Hoot refuses to participate in hugging and kissing. He has met Granny before, but he was only 16 months old at the time. But, Granny's got his number. She had four boys of her own, and a big bunch of brothers. Really, she's not going to be phased.
We took Granny out for lunch to a place she likes called Buddy Freddys. We knew DH would love because he would be able to get good fried chicken. Hoot, well, we just crossed our fingers and hoped that he wouldn't go ape ****. After all, it's not like Granny wouldn't be watching. (Insert all kinds of family issues such as judgement and fear of failure.) Since it was early, the place was pretty empty, but the food was loaded on the buffet tables. After we order sweet tea all around, we load Hoot down a plate with a fried chicken leg, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. You know, full tilt kid food. My mantra the entire time, "please be good, please be good, please be good..." I fix my own plate and have to uncross my fingers to make sure I don't drop anything on my way back to the table.
OK, I don't really know what happened there. Maybe it was skipping breakfast. Maybe it was getting a day of Disney under his belt. Maybe it was divine intervention. Hoot was so nice and pleasant throughout the entire meal. I was stunned, but attempted to act like this was just how he always is in restaurants. Home made fried chicken, rutabaga, sweet tea, and angel child! I was on cloud 9. As the rest of us were finishing lunch, Mr. Surly even took Hoot out to rock on the front porch!
Back at Granny's we commenced with cake and presents. There wasn't a lot to open, but Hoot didn't seem to care.
Oh, how did there ever get to be FOUR candles on his birthday cake?
Taking these candles off was a very serious job, indeed!
Hoot sat in Granny's lap to open his presents.
I even got a fairly good picture of the two of us at her house. 
Hoot loved crawling on Granny's walker. Anything with wheels....
Sadly, there was a madman, aka Mr. Surly, aka DH in the background of this one. I cropped the copy I'll send to Granny! 
We may have been taking a girls only picture, but Hoot was up to something. Granny's really keeping her eyes peeled, though.Eventually, he did start to get a little on the wild side, but we had passed a couple of very good hours where he said please and thank you enough to make me proud. So, we wrapped up our round of family photos.
After walking us downstairs, we said our goodbyes and Hoot really made Granny's day. He gave her a big hug and lots of sugar! Oh, happy day! I feel like we scored an A on this one!
Up next: Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party! Ooh, I can't wait to write about it! What a blast we had!
At the home front: City won't give us a permit until the gas company fixes their meter. Gas company says their meter is fine. Plumber says to call when it is all worked out. Many, many cold showers in my future...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I just wanna wash my hair without freezing...
I guess I'm not going to be able to keep on track with my trip report. I love writing it because it helps keep my trip fresh in my mind. But, it has already been a long week, and it's just Tuesday night!
Hoot came down with a cough Sunday night. He didn't sleep very well that night, and well, if Hoot doesn't sleep well, no one sleeps well. By Monday, he was running a fever and miserable. Again, a long night, and even longer morning as a storm rolled into town.
Once up this morning, I was going to make him hot tea, but the stove wouldn't light. No gas. The gas company came out and found a huge leak in our line. Now, our gas line runs across a drainage creek that is maintained by the city. Or maybe I should say is supposed to be maintained by the city. So much debris, mostly tree branches and trash, caught up against our pipe, that with the force of the storm water, our pipe busted.
So, who pays for this? Me or the City? I still don't know. We finally found a plumber that came out late this afternoon, but he can't do anything about it until tomorrow. I hope it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. I really do. Honestly, I think the city is responsible, but who knows how long it will all take. Time is not what I want to think about right now. I want to think about hot showers, dinners from the stove or oven, and laundry drying in the dryer. That's what I want. At least it isn't winter!
Overheard at the bookstore:
You have puzzles, right?
Sure, they are this way. Did you want a jigsaw puzzle?
That doesn't sound right, I want a puzzle.
(walking customer to the puzzles and games section) A jigsaw puzzle is the kind with the picture that you put together, but we have puzzle books like sudoku and crosswords as well.
No, I want a puzzle.
Okay, here you go: Jigsaws are here, but anything in a book will be there. (For what its worth, she chose a jigsaw puzzle... then she proceeded to try and pay for it at the Information desk.)
Hoot came down with a cough Sunday night. He didn't sleep very well that night, and well, if Hoot doesn't sleep well, no one sleeps well. By Monday, he was running a fever and miserable. Again, a long night, and even longer morning as a storm rolled into town.
Once up this morning, I was going to make him hot tea, but the stove wouldn't light. No gas. The gas company came out and found a huge leak in our line. Now, our gas line runs across a drainage creek that is maintained by the city. Or maybe I should say is supposed to be maintained by the city. So much debris, mostly tree branches and trash, caught up against our pipe, that with the force of the storm water, our pipe busted.
So, who pays for this? Me or the City? I still don't know. We finally found a plumber that came out late this afternoon, but he can't do anything about it until tomorrow. I hope it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. I really do. Honestly, I think the city is responsible, but who knows how long it will all take. Time is not what I want to think about right now. I want to think about hot showers, dinners from the stove or oven, and laundry drying in the dryer. That's what I want. At least it isn't winter!
Overheard at the bookstore:
You have puzzles, right?
Sure, they are this way. Did you want a jigsaw puzzle?
That doesn't sound right, I want a puzzle.
(walking customer to the puzzles and games section) A jigsaw puzzle is the kind with the picture that you put together, but we have puzzle books like sudoku and crosswords as well.
No, I want a puzzle.
Okay, here you go: Jigsaws are here, but anything in a book will be there. (For what its worth, she chose a jigsaw puzzle... then she proceeded to try and pay for it at the Information desk.)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Day Three: A Potato Head, a tow truck, a race car, and Dad's Electric Lemonade... or Why Hoots and Liquor don't mix....
Back at Pixar Place, we saw that the wait time was listed as 50 minutes. Since it was less than an hour, and earlier we had gotten in a lot quicker that the 40 minute wait time listed then, we decided to go for it. As we approached the entrance, there was a large group standing off to one side. We walked in and joined the line. Soon, all kinds of people were behind us, and at least 10 people plowed right past us to join their parties. Yep. Rude, and it put us all in a mood. Seriously, if your party is going in and you want to ride with them, GO IN WITH THEM! The mood killer really bit it. I tried to lighten up, but we all let it feed off of each other.
But, once we were flinging pies, eggs, and such, we were all happier! I rode with Hoot, and it was a Super Blast! He giggled and fired and laughed and fired. He literally shook with delight. Our ride had to pause several times and after each scene, if we paused and were still in front of the midway games, we got to shoot with the full effects, but didn't score. We didn't care! We got to play longer. I would say we added almost another five minutes to the ride! What a treat!
Assured that we had one more ride on the Midway with our fast passes, we headed off to see a Frog about a Pig, or that's what we kept telling Hoot. But, on our way, Nathan decided to take Hoot to play on the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids playground. Tee and I sat outside on a bench and did the obligatory phone call to Meme. Eventually, the boys were spit back out of the giant blades of grass and climb nets and we went off to find this Frog and Pig. Unfortunately, we had an episode of Honey, I lost my sunglasses, so we stopped again at Youse Guys for a replacement pair. I swear that man always looses something at WDW... sunglasses this year, brand new hat last year.
Hoot was still a bit confused, but once he saw the Muppet fountain, he knew what was up. As we headed into the waiting area, I wanted to show Hoot where the Muppets keep the spare key, but the Cast Member hurried us along as they were starting to go in! Alas, instant gratification is an awesome thing. Here's Tee, Hoot, and some wet Muppets:
When we left Animation Courtyard, we went back to use our Toy Story fast passes. This time Hoot got to ride with Tee. DH & I rode together, but it was seriously frosty in that car. Sixteen years: You would think he would've let me win. Winning would've gone a long way towards my mood. It was good that we were headed back to the Pop!
Up Next: Day Four: Hoot's Birthday Party
But, once we were flinging pies, eggs, and such, we were all happier! I rode with Hoot, and it was a Super Blast! He giggled and fired and laughed and fired. He literally shook with delight. Our ride had to pause several times and after each scene, if we paused and were still in front of the midway games, we got to shoot with the full effects, but didn't score. We didn't care! We got to play longer. I would say we added almost another five minutes to the ride! What a treat!
Assured that we had one more ride on the Midway with our fast passes, we headed off to see a Frog about a Pig, or that's what we kept telling Hoot. But, on our way, Nathan decided to take Hoot to play on the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids playground. Tee and I sat outside on a bench and did the obligatory phone call to Meme. Eventually, the boys were spit back out of the giant blades of grass and climb nets and we went off to find this Frog and Pig. Unfortunately, we had an episode of Honey, I lost my sunglasses, so we stopped again at Youse Guys for a replacement pair. I swear that man always looses something at WDW... sunglasses this year, brand new hat last year.
Hoot was still a bit confused, but once he saw the Muppet fountain, he knew what was up. As we headed into the waiting area, I wanted to show Hoot where the Muppets keep the spare key, but the Cast Member hurried us along as they were starting to go in! Alas, instant gratification is an awesome thing. Here's Tee, Hoot, and some wet Muppets:
The next Must See Must Do on our list was the meet and photo opportunity with Mater and McQueen. We grabbed a Coke and ditched Tee at some shady benches and joined the small line that was already gathering. It was a miserably hot wait, with almost no shade, but you know what? That boy can wait a long time when it involves his favorite race car! When the two biggest stars from Radiator Springs came out, we had a grand time watching the crowd as we waited our turn. On the far side of the area, the meet and greet was separated out with a giant row of hedges. We had several good laughs as two little boys tried to claw their way through from the other side. They never made it all the way, but the little faces were fun to watch. I can only image the scratches they would have to endure later.
Sadly, the pictures weren't as good as last year. But, if you look at last year's picture just below, you can see just how much Hoot has grown compared with Lightning.
Now that we've gotten our Cars fix, we head off to one of my favorite places at WDW. The 50's Prime Time Cafe. I've been lusting after Dad's Electric Lemonade for quite some time, and I can't wait! We're about 15 minutes early when we checked in (as instructed) but we waited a little over 30 before we were able to be seated. We did get to spend some of that time on a couch in Dad's Lounge on a love seat. Nathan turned into a grumpy old man who just kept asking me how much longer it would be. Yeah, if I knew that, I'd focus on lotto numbers instead of dinner tables. I was ready to trade him in for a new model. Hoot started playing with a floor lamp, but I figured plenty of kids have jacked with this stuff, it was nailed down, and I didn't have the will or energy to tangle with it.
We were happily seated at a kitchen table (I have never sat at one before and they are like a counter dinette with a TV!) and our "sister" came over to take our order. Now, Nathan has never been here, so he didn't really know there was supposed to be some shtick with dinner. Our "sister" however, wasn't the best at the entertainment though. When she asked how we were doing, Tee & I told her our side of the table was good, but the other side was grumpy. She called Hoot Grumpy McGrumperson but he was blissfully coloring his menu. We ordered drinks and I asked for the magical concoction that would make it all better: Dad's Electric Lemonade. We were in, we had a kitchen table, my drink was coming, Hoot was occupied! Things were looking up!
Soon, our drinks were out and my blue glowing ice cube had caught Hoot's eye. When sis came back to take our order, I had been fishing out the cube for Hoot, and wiping off the alcohol. We ordered, she left, and dashed the crayon she had used to write our order back down on the table. Alas, when I set my drink back on its napkin, I didn't see the crayon and it spilt everywhere. Yes, everyone was grumpy, but Nathan had moved on to just plain nasty. I threw my napkin on the mess and went to the ladies room.
I won't go in to the next fifteen minutes or so.
I did return to the table.
I did have another drink waiting.
I did attempt to be social.
After dinner, we headed off to find Rocket. We never made it to Playhouse Disney (sorry Hoot!) but I knew we'd get some pictures with Rocket anyway. Oh, he was so happy!
As we finished with Rocket, I spotted a movie poster for Wall-e! So, we took another picture.
When we left Animation Courtyard, we went back to use our Toy Story fast passes. This time Hoot got to ride with Tee. DH & I rode together, but it was seriously frosty in that car. Sixteen years: You would think he would've let me win. Winning would've gone a long way towards my mood. It was good that we were headed back to the Pop!
Up Next: Day Four: Hoot's Birthday Party
Interlude for those who don't know how to rope a deer
This is from a forwarded email, so I'll just say the author is anonymous.
I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4' away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The deer were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would havea good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education. The first thing I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there and look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.
That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The third thing I learned, the only upside, is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.
It took me a few minutes to realize this, since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between that deer and me. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set beforehand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
The fourth thing I learned, did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you, I have now learned, is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. This method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer, (though you may question that claim) tricked it while I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm. I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet, strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse -- strikes at you with their hooves and you cannot get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggresive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
I immediately learned that a deer is NOT a horse. Such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Lesson six....Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4' away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The deer were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would havea good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education. The first thing I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there and look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.
That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The third thing I learned, the only upside, is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.
It took me a few minutes to realize this, since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between that deer and me. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set beforehand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
The fourth thing I learned, did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you, I have now learned, is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. This method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer, (though you may question that claim) tricked it while I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm. I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet, strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse -- strikes at you with their hooves and you cannot get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggresive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
I immediately learned that a deer is NOT a horse. Such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Lesson six....Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
Day Three: Scream as loud as you want...
It was time for the dreaded trip to First Aid. I was pretty sure I knew the area First Aid is located at Hollywood Studios, but wanted to double check. As we headed through the Streets of America, I stopped a pair of Cast Members and inquired. They were all over us! What do we need? Are we okay? Can they help? Do they need to take us there or call someone? We convinced them we were okay and they let us go with just confirmation of our directions.
At First Aid, we were greeted warmly and asked to sign in. I explained that Hoot had a splinter in his heel and that we were looking for tweezers, a needle, and possibly a magnifying glass. Oh, and a place he could scream. We were shown into an exam room. The nurse laid out a pair of tweezers, a needle type instrument with a wide base to make holding it easier, and sprayed several pieces of gauze with sterilizing stuff.
Now, have any of you ever read the email about how to rope a deer? It's made several rounds on the Internet, and if I can dig it up, I post it after this report. Totally hilarious and totally a bad idea.
So, I turn around and Nathan has Hoot up on the exam table with the shoe and sock off the hurt foot. Tee has jockeyed around to the foot of the table and is near the lighted magnifier. I am stuck staring at the instruments, and all I can think is "I'm about to rope a deer!" I decided that quick is the tactic I am looking for and swab the boys foot with the gauze. I try to position the light and the boy decides he's just not gonna have it! The light won't quite stay in place, but I can see through the magnifier, and I start to work with the sharp instrument.
Holler is the word that comes to mind. A Hoot is a hollerin'! There was thrashing, there was yelling, there was scuffling, and there was a tiny bit of blood. Nathan pinned Hoot's body, Tee threw herself on Hoot's other leg while trying to hold the hurt foot still, and somehow, I managed to poke out the splinter with the sharp thingy. Great. Now, I really wanted a bit of a breather, but you know, time was of the essence, so I grabbed the tweezers and managed to get it all out. Oh, the tears. Oh, the hollering. Oh, that was me! Well, almost. It seemed like it took a year, but it was really all a blur and I think we were in and out of First Aid in under 10 minutes.
Since we are right next to Guest Relations, I pop inside to pick up the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party tickets that we got from last year's rain check. It was super easy and I was helped by a lovely girl from Japan who was doing the college program. I wanted to chat, but wasn't sure if Hoot was still holding a grudge, so I quickly went back outside.
I found Hoot just kind of wondering around under the First Aid sign waiting on me, while Tee watched from a bench.
At First Aid, we were greeted warmly and asked to sign in. I explained that Hoot had a splinter in his heel and that we were looking for tweezers, a needle, and possibly a magnifying glass. Oh, and a place he could scream. We were shown into an exam room. The nurse laid out a pair of tweezers, a needle type instrument with a wide base to make holding it easier, and sprayed several pieces of gauze with sterilizing stuff.
Now, have any of you ever read the email about how to rope a deer? It's made several rounds on the Internet, and if I can dig it up, I post it after this report. Totally hilarious and totally a bad idea.
So, I turn around and Nathan has Hoot up on the exam table with the shoe and sock off the hurt foot. Tee has jockeyed around to the foot of the table and is near the lighted magnifier. I am stuck staring at the instruments, and all I can think is "I'm about to rope a deer!" I decided that quick is the tactic I am looking for and swab the boys foot with the gauze. I try to position the light and the boy decides he's just not gonna have it! The light won't quite stay in place, but I can see through the magnifier, and I start to work with the sharp instrument.
Holler is the word that comes to mind. A Hoot is a hollerin'! There was thrashing, there was yelling, there was scuffling, and there was a tiny bit of blood. Nathan pinned Hoot's body, Tee threw herself on Hoot's other leg while trying to hold the hurt foot still, and somehow, I managed to poke out the splinter with the sharp thingy. Great. Now, I really wanted a bit of a breather, but you know, time was of the essence, so I grabbed the tweezers and managed to get it all out. Oh, the tears. Oh, the hollering. Oh, that was me! Well, almost. It seemed like it took a year, but it was really all a blur and I think we were in and out of First Aid in under 10 minutes.
Since we are right next to Guest Relations, I pop inside to pick up the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party tickets that we got from last year's rain check. It was super easy and I was helped by a lovely girl from Japan who was doing the college program. I wanted to chat, but wasn't sure if Hoot was still holding a grudge, so I quickly went back outside.
I found Hoot just kind of wondering around under the First Aid sign waiting on me, while Tee watched from a bench.
He may have hollered like a madman, and thrashed like a fish in the bottom of the boat, but he was already over it. Can I get an Amen?
We decided to head down to the Great Movie Ride and as we strolled down Hollywood Boulevard, we saw there was a bit of a "disturbance in the park." A "police officer" was trying to convince a woman who he had found sleeping in the park that she needed to leave. As we stopped to watch, she grew louder about becoming Hollywood's next big thing. She was going to be a star! When I got out the camera to snap her pictures, she told the cop that because I wanted her picture, it proved that she was really a star! So she did a few poses for me!
Isn't she fabulous! I totally loved her. She made me think of my mother, but don't tell my mother that! LOL!
After our journey through the Great Movie Ride (we had the cowgirl bank robber, not the mobster), we headed back to Pixar Place to see if we'd get lucky with another trip through Toy Story Mania.
Up next: A Potato Head, a tow truck, a race car, and Dad's Electric Lemonade... or Why Hoots and Liquor don't mix....
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