Throwing a Budget Temper Tantrum

On the message boards where I post my No Buy thread, one of the other posters posed the question, "Have you ever thrown a budget temper tantrum?" It got me thinking about wants vs. needs, and wants vs. strong, strong desires. In order to throw a real temper tantrum, the object in question must fall into the strong, strong desire category.

Sometimes, responsibility sucks. We all know it. It makes for hard choices, or for some people, very easy choices. It depends on how responsible you are or want to be. I have a strong, strong desire to change our financial habits. But, what throws me in to a true budget temper tantrum is the unpredictability of life. Carpe Diem? Or retirement planning? *sigh*

I know that my own sense of Carpe Diem gets in the way of my money goals all the time. The older I get, the more I understand why. When I was a child, we had what I call the decade of tragedies, or the Seventies. While I have many, many happy childhood memories, the shadow of these things gives me a heightened sense of mortality. In the first part of the decade, my family lost seven members in a plane crash. In one phone call, I lost my grandmother, two aunts, an uncle and three cousins. A few years later, I survived in a dog attack when a St. Bernard attempted to remove my face. Move forward a few years, and my sister was shot but came away with no lasting damage. We capped off the decade with our restaurant being burned down by an arsonist.

By nature, I am a planner. I honestly believe I can solve any problem or do anything if I can just sit down, dissect it, and put it back together with a blueprint in place. Yeah, I may have to dig through a book, or ask a lot of questions, but once all the variables are in place, it's only a matter of completing the Sudoku puzzle. But, this planner is always in competition with Carpe Diem.

I know people who never go anywhere or do anything they talk and dream about. If you really want to go to Disneyworld, or Paris, or Italy or wherever, but you always say you can't afford it, you will never go. If you want to own a home, but just keep saying "someday" without taking action, you never will. If you are waiting for a surprise windfall, it may or may not ever happen. Even if it takes years, I believe it is possible to do anything or go anywhere, but you have to work for it. You have to take action.

When my sense of Carpe Diem conflicts with my planner, that's when I have the biggest budget temper tantrum of all. But, when I have a really big budget temper tantrum, that's when I know something really means a lot to me and I go back to the old drawing board. I may not give in, but you can believe I will spend some time crunching the numbers.

At the bookstore:
Last night, a twelve/thirteen year old boy discovered that we had a sexuality section. When I noticed him, he had out about 8 or 9 books. I walked up and asked him if he needed any help, he stammered "no"and fled. But, oh no, he was back just 3 minutes later. It was really cute how he thought he was sly, hiding behind the bookcase when I would come back. After 2 times of him slipping away as I approached, I cornered him and told him that the next time he came back over into that area, I was going to tell his mother. That finally did it. He never went back over, but I saw him head in that direction two more times, only to turn around when he saw me. I laugh when I think about his friends asking him what he did on Spring Break. I'm sure I will be portrayed as an ogre. I doubt that he noticed I was a highly amused ogre!