Six Eyes!

Sometime during the first few months of No Buy, I misplaced my reading glasses. I remembered having them as I left for work, but couldn't find them there or in the car. So, with life being a disorganized mess at the time, I turned my house upside down and inside out. Two days later, I parked in the driveway instead of up on the carport. Guess what I found? I've gotta say, those Titanium bounce back frames bent right back into place, even if they were lopsided. The lenses were not so lucky. I figure that if I lost them that first trip out of the carport, I ran over them at least nine times! The lenses were intact but after all that grinding into the concrete, you couldn't see through them at all.

Since I only wore my glasses for reading, I staved off an eye exam by purchasing a cheap pair of magnifiers at Target. They weren't the best, but they did the job and I paid less than $10. They also didn't last long. DS is obsessed by glasses and I would tend to leave them on my bedside table when I fell asleep. As DS is usually my alarm clock, I woke many times to him playing with my glasses. I was back at Target just before Christmas getting another $10 pair after he broke them.

When the New Year's resolution time was in fever pitch, I promised myself a visit to the eye doctor and new glasses. January rolled on and before I made the appointment, open enrollment for benefits happened at work. For the first time, I was eligible for a flexible spending account with my health plan. I took the entire enrollment period to decide how much I wanted to dump into the new account. Finally, on the last day, I dropped a grand into the account. Then I had to wait until I received all my information and make sure the account was active.

March came along, and determined, I made the appointment for today. I was a little apprehensive because I don't really care for dental, medical, or eye appointments. They always make me a little crazy. But, here it was, glasses time.

I arrived at the appointment early so I could shop around for frames while I waited. I got a great technician who pulled me tons of frames and walked me through my vision plan coverage. Frames have really changed in the last ten years. So many big designers have frames now. Dolce & Gibanna, Anne Klein, DKNY, Ralph Lauren, Farragamo! And, I had a license to buy! Ooh, my inner shopper came out with a vengeance. I almost forgot to pause and get my eye exam.

So, I fill out my paperwork, get my eyes puffed and hit the dreaded chair. I spent another 20 minutes playing "better or worse" and then he hit me between the eyes. OK, maybe not really, but it felt like it. "I think you'll find the progressive bifocals will really help you at work." Um, excuse me? BIFOCALS? Yep, that's what he said. I guess he thought I liked the sound of that because I was too stunned to speak. I pulled out the unused MasterCard, paid my bill and stumbled into the mall.

Bifocals. Not four eyes, but six eyes! Dear God, how old am I? When did this happen? Can I lodge a complaint? WTH? I just kind of rambled around in the mall for a few minutes, trying to let it all sink in before I went back to the glasses store.

I sank myself back into the bliss of sanctioned shopping, but I could still feel a bit of panic. I mean, I was totally not prepared to decide between lined or progressive. I called Tee and without preamble, blurted out my question about which to get. Now, between you and me, I think she took it harder than I did. Her little sister was old enough to need bifocals. But, she convinced me to go with the progressive lenses because I didn't need to "look like an old woman!"

In the end, I picked out my frames without looking at the prices. I had gone over my vision plan earlier, and I was only going to have to pay 60% of the frames cost, and I had my flexible spending account to pay the bill when it came due. But, again, I was unprepared for all the decisions and costs associated with bifocals. I picked a sharp pair of Ray Bans for $160 thinking they would cost me just under $100. Now came the time to pick lenses.

Really, they need some kind of wall chart explaining all the different types of lenses, complete with prices. A menu would be great. A menu with explanations, prices, scratch resistance ratings, weights, well, I could go on and on. Given DS's obsession with my glasses, I figured I needed superior scratch protection. Given the fact that I haven't worn glasses daily since I was in elementary school, I wanted something light. Given Tee's suggestion, I wanted progressive. I was totally lost. Without a clear cut menu, I chose Featherweight Plus, Progressive lenses. I felt like I was Mr. Magoo bumbling along.

And, here's where the money got nasty. We ran the numbers on everything using my vision plan, paying 60% on the frames and I forget the percentage on the lenses. It came out to about $345. Then, my technician ran the numbers using a coupon that had been mailed out for 50% off of lenses, and the total came out to be $309. So, I used the coupon, and handed over my MasterCard.

On the way to the car, I was starting to second guess myself and the vision plan. Sure, the exam was cheap, but I didn't have to buy my glasses from them. I should shop around. I was getting out my car keys when I decided to turn around and cancel my order. Then, I saw it. The flat tire on the Saturn. Talk about the last thing I needed. I totally put all thought of glasses out of my head and focused on the immediate problem.

I pulled out the cell phone and started to dial AAA. I carry AAA because our cars are higher mileage and I never want to be stranded out with DS. But, I almost never use it except for discounts, and since I'm not shopping, I've barely used it this year. I used them once about a month and a half ago, when DH & DS locked the keys in his car. The response time was about 40 minutes. Well, it wasn't too hot and I can change a tire in under 10 minutes so I set to work.

After talking to Tee later in the day, I realized that I came out pretty cheap versus what she has to pay for her glasses, but it still makes me crazy. I've already gotten my forms to get my reimbursement and it'll go out in the mail on Monday. I'm really glad that I didn't decide on a pair of sunglasses today. I'm going to really shop around before I buy them. I've already spent time at Zenni Optical and I expect I will experiment with them for sunglasses and a pair of plain reading glasses.

Now, I have to admit, the glasses look great. They fit great. They are light and I have already started to effortlessly wear them only four hours later. But, two phrases keep running through my mind:
Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Four eyes! (or in my case, Six eyes!)

Overheard at the bookstore:
Do you have some sort of Rolodex or something where we can look up stuff? We don't really know how this place works.